"Trigger" vs. "Access Point:" Changing Our Language So We Can Heal

In the world of trauma healing, the term "trigger" is common, often used to describe the intense reactions we experience when something reminds us of a past wound. But as I’ve worked with trauma survivors, I've noticed how the language we use deeply influences our relationship with our trauma responses. That’s why I prefer to use the term access point instead of trigger.

The word trigger can feel pathologizing and limiting, often bringing up images of reactivity, danger, or uncontrollable responses. But an access point invites us into a space of curiosity and openness, encouraging us to look deeper into what our reactions might be trying to show us. This shift in language isn’t just semantic—it’s transformational. Here’s why access point feels like a healthier, more empowering way to relate to our trauma responses.

The Problem with "Triggers"

In trauma discourse, the word trigger has become shorthand for anything that elicits a strong emotional reaction, often linked to painful memories or past traumas. When we think of a trigger, we think of something we must avoid, manage, or brace ourselves against. It creates an almost adversarial relationship with our responses, as though they’re something to fear or escape from.

While managing trauma responses is essential, approaching them only as triggers can leave us feeling powerless, as if our responses are uncontrollable forces that dictate our actions. This framing can make us feel reactive rather than reflective, as though our only option is to avoid or sidestep situations that might activate those deep wounds.

A New Approach: Seeing Trauma Responses as "Access Points"

What if we saw these intense reactions not as triggers to avoid but as access points—openings that invite us to look inward? This approach encourages us to be curious and compassionate toward ourselves. By framing these moments as access points, we empower ourselves to lean into our responses and explore them, even if it feels uncomfortable.

Using access point shifts our mindset:

• Instead of avoiding what causes discomfort, we’re exploring it.
• Instead of judging ourselves for being reactive, we’re getting curious about what’s behind the reaction.
• Instead of fearing our responses, we’re learning from them.

Exploring Access Points: A Pathway to Understanding and Healing

Seeing trauma responses as access points fosters curiosity and understanding. It’s a reminder that our reactions aren’t random or irrational; they’re deeply rooted in past experiences, often with unprocessed pain or unmet needs behind them. Here’s how we can use these moments to better understand and support ourselves:

1. Curiosity Over Judgment
   When we view a response as an access point, it’s an opportunity to ask questions like, “What am I feeling right now?” or “What unmet need might this reaction be pointing to?” Instead of immediately jumping to conclusions or criticizing ourselves for feeling reactive, we can dig a little deeper to uncover what our mind and body are communicating.

2. Compassionate Inquiry
   Trauma responses are signals from our inner selves. They may highlight unmet needs, boundary issues, or unhealed wounds. Asking compassionate questions like, “What is my body trying to tell me?” or “What past experience might this be reminding me of?” can reveal layers of understanding that we might otherwise overlook.

3. Empowerment Through Awareness
   When we know the roots of our responses, we can begin to choose how we want to respond moving forward. Seeing trauma responses as access points reminds us that, even if we can’t control how we initially feel, we have the power to choose our next steps. This awareness is empowering—it puts healing back in our hands.

Questions to Explore with Access Points

If you’d like to approach your trauma responses as access points, here are a few questions to guide your self-reflection:

• What am I feeling right now, and why? Naming your feelings can be powerful and often leads to insights about their origin.
• Where in my body do I feel this activation? Paying attention to where emotions show up in the body can connect you to what’s beneath the surface.
• What past experience might this be bringing up for me? Trauma responses often tie back to old experiences, so identifying any parallels can offer valuable insights.

Turning Triggers into Tools for Healing

To illustrate this approach, consider a couple of examples:

• Example 1: Say you feel hurt and anxious when a loved one doesn’t respond to your texts right away. Instead of labeling it as just a “trigger,” explore it as an access point: Does this bring up a fear of abandonment from a past relationship? How does this pattern show up in other areas of your life, and what would it mean to address it openly?

• Example 2: Perhaps you feel intense anger when someone disregards your boundaries. Rather than seeing it as an uncontrollable reaction, try seeing it as an access point to explore why this is such a hot button for you. Does it connect to an experience where your boundaries weren’t respected in the past? How can you honor this need for respect now in a healthy way?

These examples show how reframing trigger to access point can lead us into a compassionate exploration of our inner selves, ultimately leading to greater self-awareness and healing.

Embracing Access Points in Daily Life

Reframing triggers as access points won’t make intense reactions disappear, but it will change how we experience and respond to them. This approach encourages us to engage with our responses rather than fear them. It also helps us build a relationship with ourselves rooted in understanding, not avoidance or judgment.

Next time you encounter an intense emotional reaction, I invite you to take a moment and see it as an access point. Breathe, tune into what’s coming up, and let curiosity guide you. You might be surprised by the insights you gain—and the healing that begins to unfold.